In Your Room
by TLS Lyrics and Lemons Contest
Summary: Submission #2 for TLS Lyrics & Lemons O/S Contest


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**TLS Lyrics and Lemons Contest**

Song: "In Your Room" by Depeche Mode and

**http : / / tinyurl . com / 68dmgy7**

"Forgive Me Love (Secret Song)" by Alanis Morissette

**http : / / tinyurl . com / 6c9v4pz**

Rating: M/NC-17

Word Count: 3,381

Pairing: Edward/Bella

Summary: In your room, where time stands still or moves at your will…will you come back to me or leave me lying here to drown in your memories?

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters, I just like to borrow them and make them do dirty things. I'll return them when I'm done. Or make them do it again.

**In Your Room**

I bend down to lift up the welcome mat, smiling when I see the key right there where it always is.

_Do you remember, Edward, how many times I used to tease you for putting it in the most obvious hiding place?_

I use my nails to pry the key away from the wooden floor and stand up, letting the welcome mat flop back into place.

I slide the key into the lock, hold my breath and turn. The click of the deadbolt sliding open allows me to breathe again. I've done this too many times to count but things are different now. We both said things we wish we could take back, but I know it will always be you. It will always be us. We can get through anything.

Turning the handle and pushing the door open slowly, I step inside.

_Do you remember the first night we spent here? We sat on the floor right in this very spot and ate Chinese._

I walk up the stairs, move down the hall and open the door to your room. I am instantly assaulted with you―your smell, your laughter, your smile. I close my eyes and breathe you in. It's been so long since I hung on your words, lived on your breath and felt your skin.

I shouldn't be here, Edward. Please forgive me, love.

I walk over to your dresser and find your cologne sitting on top. I pull off the lid, hold it up to my nose and breathe deep. I can't believe I almost forgot what your skin smells like. We shouldn't have drifted. We should have fought harder. But it's going to be alright because we can get through anything. It hurts to swallow and my eyes fill with tears I thought were long since dried up. I press my finger to the opening and tip the bottle upside down. I set the bottle back down on the dresser and take my finger, wet with your scent that I know so well, and trail it down my throat, my chest and dip it between the valley of my breasts.

I turn and walk over to your iPod dock and press play.

"In your room, where souls disappear, only you exist here."

Of course this is the song that starts to play; this is always the song that is queued up, ready for us. I feel like time is standing still and I can't move forward. I'm stuck in this place, in your room.

I shouldn't be here, love. Will you forgive me for listening to your music?

I let the lyrics and the haunting music take over and suddenly, I don't care if I'll always be a slave to you and the memories of everything we've shared. You're a part of me and I never want that to change. I cross my arms in front of me and the tips of my fingers slip under the hem of my shirt, grazing the heated skin at my sides. I lift it up and off my body, dropping it to the floor by my feet.

My thumbs hook into the waistband of my pants and I slowly push them down over my hips and let them fall to the carpet so I can step out of them.

I walk over to your bed, pull the covers back and crawl beneath the cool sheets. I let my head sink into your soft pillows, bury my nose into them and I breathe you in again.

_Do you remember waking up on Sunday mornings with our bodies wrapped together? We would share the same pillow while we slept because we always needed to be close, needed to be touching, needed each other._

You favorite armchair still sits in the corner of the room, and I smile remembering why it was always your favorite.

_You had a towel wrapped around your waist and you sat down, reaching for your socks that are on the floor by your feet. I watched beads of water from your shower slowly drip down your chest, and you were talking to me about something that happened at work but I didn't hear. I just saw, and felt and wanted. You were so patient with me. You didn't care if I wasn't ready; you just wanted me however you could have me. I looked at you sitting there, so beautiful with your smooth skin glistening and the moonlight shining in through the window behind you. The music from your stereo changed from a fast dance song to the one that would always remind me of this night, this moment, here in your room. I walked across the floor to you and pulled the socks out of your hands and threw them to the side. You looked up at me with a smile and rested your hands on my hips. I placed my palms on your bare shoulders and stepped in between your legs, smoothing a lock of damp hair off of your forehead._

_I bent my leg and put me knee on the cushion of the chair next to your hip. I could see the questions in your eyes, but I didn't say a word. I just slid my other knee against the inside of your thigh and placed that one on the outside of your other hip. I watched your throat as you swallowed thickly and licked your lips. That was so unlike me, and you were afraid to move, afraid to breathe. I felt the same way but I needed to move so I could have more of you._

_I kept my knees locked so I was hovering above you and my breasts were right in front of your mouth. I reached up and slowly unbuttoned my shirt, never taking my eyes off of yours. I watched you watching me and saw your eyes darken when you realized what I was doing. Each button I pushed through its hole exposed another inch of my skin to you until I got to the bottom and parted the material. Your breath hitched and my skirt was bunched into your fists by my hips. I know you wanted to take, to touch, to move, but you held still, letting me set the pace. _

_I slid the tips of my fingers down the lace edge of the fabric covering one of my breasts and held my fingers still, in between my cleavage. When I saw your eyes following each movement of my fingers and watched you wet your lips again, I pulled the fabric down, exposing my breast to you. I reached down and unclasped one of your hands from its grip on my skirt and brought it up to my breast, placing your palm flat over the top of it. I ghosted my fingers across the top of your hand, over your wrist, down your arm and up to your shoulder. _

_I threaded both of my hands into the hair at the nape of your neck, letting you know that I trusted you and that it was your turn to move._

_You didn't hesitate. You kneaded my breast in the palm of your hand, moving it slightly away so you could circle my hardened nipple with the pad of your thumb. I put pressure on the back of your head to pull you forward. Your hand was replaced with the wet, warmth of your soft mouth. You sucked my nipple into your mouth, and I bucked my hips forward into your chest. Your rough tongue laved back and forth over my nipple, shooting an ache straight to my core, and I let out a moan of need for you._

_I felt your other hand sliding down my hip until it was met with the skin of my thigh. You continued sucking and licking and nibbling lightly with your teeth as you pushed your hand under my skirt. I whimpered, knowing where you were going and wanting it more than anything. Your fingers slipped under the edge of my panties and you paused. We had never done this before. We were going to cross a line that would change us forever and you waited, making sure I was okay._

_You moved your mouth away from my breast and looked me in the eyes, searching for the sign that would let you keep going._

"_Touch me, Edward," I whispered._

_You let out the breath you'd been holding and the warmth of it breezed over my chest. You slid your finger the rest of the way under the edge of the scrap of material and plunged the length of it inside my heat. Neither one of us moved. You held your finger inside me, and I just closed my eyes and felt you. I felt you slide it slowly in and out of me, letting your thumb slide forward over my clit each time you pushed back in. _

"_You feel incredible, Bella. So soft, so wet, just for me," you whisper against my lips as you look up at me._

"_I'm hanging on your words_

_living on your breath_

_feeling with your skin_

_will I always be here?"_

_The words of the song sounded like my heart and my soul crying out for you, and I wanted more. I wanted all of you surrounding me, inside of me, needing me._

_I reached between our bodies and pull your towel apart with one hand. You kept pushing and pulling your finger in and out of me slowly. So slowly, it was torture and pleasure all at the same time. I could feel the wetness seeping out of me, coating your finger and I paused so I could just feel what you were doing before I kept going. You held your finger as deep as it would go and circled your thumb around and around my clit until I felt like I was going to come apart at the seems and my hips started rocking against your hand._

I roll over onto my back and slide my hand down my body until it reaches the juncture of my thighs. Remembering is going to kill me, break me into a thousand pieces, but I need to keep going. I move my hand the rest of the way until my fingers are under the lace and sliding between my wet folds. I dip two fingers inside of me and pull them back out, spreading the wetness all around. I close my eyes and remember more as my fingers slowly rub small circles around my clit.

_I wrapped my hand around the smooth skin of your hardness and you caught your breath at the contact. A second finger was added to the first and you pushed them both deep inside of me as I squeezed my hand tight and slid it down to the base of your cock. _

_You were mumbling words against my lips―words of love, words of need, and words of want. I pulled my hand up your length and let my thumb slide over the head and smooth the moisture that has gathered there around the tip. I glided my hand up and down the length of your cock and your hips started moving up to meet me. _

_My legs started to shake. I wanted to cum and I wanted you inside of me when I do. I stopped my hand from pumping your length, and I held it straight up. You pulled your fingers out of me, dragging more of my wetness with you as you go and spreading it up and around my throbbing clit. You pulled the fabric of my panties aside and let out a groan when you saw my glistening wetness. I sunk my body lower until the head of your cock could rest against my wet opening. _

_I was staring down between us, watching my hand wrapped around you and your fingers moving inside me, but now I needed your eyes. I needed to look into your heart and into your soul and know that this was right._

_You leaned forward so you could kiss my lips and you kept your eyes open, wanting the same thing as me. You slid your lips softly back and forth over mine, and I rubbed the head of your cock through my wetness, coating it with my need for you._

With my eyes closed and your scent surrounding me, I almost believe you're here with me. I bend my knees and spread my legs, holding my two fingers together and sliding them frantically over my clit. I raise my other arm over my head and grab onto the railing of your headboard, arching my back with the need to cum.

_With one more gentle kiss to my lips, I knew I didn't want to wait any longer. I held the tip of your cock in place and lowered myself down. I stopped breathing as the head is pushed inside. I stilled my movements so I could slow down my breathing . Both of your hands went under my skirt and you tore the fabric of my panties to shreds and threw them down to the side. Your hands moved around to cup my ass and you pushed me down, ever so gently._

_I sunk lower, pushing your length into me slowly, inch by inch. Neither one of us was breathing; your hands were softly massaging my ass as I took all of you inside of me. _

Nothing will ever replace the feeling of that first moment when you were deep inside. I remember the fullness and the hardness and how it took my breath away when I felt the walls of my opening stretch to let you inside. I move my two fingers and plunge them roughly inside of me, letting the palm of my hand smack against my clit as I slam them deep, over and over again.

_I could feel every inch of you spreading me open and still I wanted more. I lifted up on my knees and let your satiny, smooth length slide almost all of the way out. Your lips found mine again, and I slammed my body down until you filled me to the hilt. You slipped your tongue between my lips, and I rocked myself back and forth, letting my clit slide over your pubic bone. Your hands on my ass pushed and pulled me and helped me reach the edge. I could feel the pulsing between my legs and the warmth spreading through my core, and I knew it wouldn't be long before I came. Our tongues slid against each other and you sucked mine gently into your mouth, and I started to grind against you faster. _

_It was right there, just beyond my reach and I wanted to cum. I wanted to cum hard with you inside me and I knew nothing would ever feel better than this moment._

I add a third finger and I'm pounding them inside of me, trying to make it feel as close to you as I can but it's so different. Nothing feels as good as you inside of me, but remembering that first time, in this room, surrounded by your things makes it easier for me to cum.

I shouldn't be here, love. Will you forgive me for being in your bed?

My breath is coming out in gasps and I'm reaching, reaching for that feeling to wash over me.

_My hips were moving faster and it was right there. I wanted it. I needed it, and you plunged your tongue deeper into my mouth and suddenly it was happening. I was cumming. My arms are wrapped tight around your shoulders, and I was clutching onto your back, riding wave after wave of pleasure as it shot through the folds of my sex and swirled around my clit. I was cumming hard with you deep inside of me, and I was moaning into your mouth as I kept rocking quickly back and forth, never wanting this feeling to end._

_Your hands moved to my hips and you lifted me up and then quickly slammed me back down onto you. I felt the residual tingles of my orgasm spark back to life with you so huge and full inside of me, and I broke free from your lips to sigh with pleasure. Your hands on my hips moved me faster and harder, and I whispered against your lips, telling you I wanted to feel you cum._

I push my fingers inside of me as deep as they'll go and hold them in place, curling them just enough so they can reach that spot right at the tip of my middle finger. I push my finger against it and I feel the rush of warmth and the pulse of my clit as my orgasm explodes out of me. I scream out your name as my thumb finds my clit, sliding back and forth over it to prolong the feeling of cumming and imagining it's you doing this to me.

_You lifted your hips each time you slammed me down on top of your length so you could go as deep as possible and nothing has ever felt so good to me. I pulled your body up against mine so my breasts could slide against your chest as we moved. I bounced up and down on you until your arms wrapped tightly around me and you threw your head back, shouting my name, "Bella, Bella, Bella!" It told me that you were cumming. With one last forceful thrust, you suspended your hips in the air as you spilled yourself into me. I felt the warm bursts of you filling me as your cock pulsed with each surge. _

_When it was over and we were both spent and breathing heavy, our bodies glistening with a sheen of sweat, we sunk down into the cushions of the chair with you still buried deep within me. You kissed my neck and told me you would never throw this chair away._

I pull the last of the orgasm out of my body, and I shudder with the remaining affects of the pleasure that you aren't here to give me. I slowly pull my fingers out of myself and sit up, throwing the covers off of me and taking a deep breath.

Time stands still here in your room. I wonder if morning will come soon or if I'll be left here in the dark, searching for you. I was always your favorite prize, your favorite smile, your favorite passion. Will anything ever feel the same again?

I pick up my clothes from the floor and slide them back on. I remake your bed, shut off the music and run my hand across the top of the desk next to your bed.

I shouldn't be here, love. It's getting late and you might be home soon.

I turn to leave and I notice a letter sitting on your desk. I smile and wonder if you knew. I wonder if you left that here for me because you knew that I would be here and need you, just like I always have. I pick up the letter, trying to push the butterflies down and keep my hands from shaking as I open each section of the folded piece of paper. I miss your words and the way they make me feel treasured.

_Remember when you would have me come over and wait for you until you got out of work? You would tell me to curl up in bed and wait. You always left a note for me on the desk, telling me you would come home to me soon and that you loved me._

I open the last section of the note and see today's date at the top of the page as I begin to read the words. It says, "Hello, love. I love you so. Meet me at midnight."

I want to cry, but I have no tears left. I want to feel but I'm afraid my heart will explode. The note's not for me. And that's not your handwriting

In your room my soul disappeared.

In your room I forgot how to breathe.

In your room….I ceased to exist.


End file.
